I ended up going to the hospital again last night. I had a fever and couldnt get rid of it. when we got to see the doctor they did some tests and saw a uti, so they took the stent out, and put an iv in and gave me a big dose of antibiotics. they told me to stay on the cipro that the doc gave me, and to come back in again tonight. I still have the iv in because they might give me some more antibiotics. the weird thing is that i dont have any pain in my left side, just general aches and a headache. im still kinda nasueous off and on, and i still have a fever, but its only 99 right now. it got to 103 last night. hopefully the antibiotics will kick in and i can go to school tomorrow.

I forgot to post last night that I got a cpap machine for sleep apnea. I went to a sleep study last month and they said i have mild apnea, and thought a machine would help me. I tried sleeping with it on tuesday and ended up taking it off sometime in the middle of the night. Last night i tried to sleep with it but my nose was stuffy so i couldnt.


now for something more serious. I dont know how many of you watch reality tv, I do sometimes. I watched trading spouses on fox last night and was appalled at what i saw. you can go to http://www.fox.com/tradingspouses/ and see a clip of what went on last night. Specifically the video of Marguerite Perrin on the right. I have a hard time expressing my feelings without being judgmental, and If I come off that way im sorry. This woman calls herself a Christian. All I saw last night was her judging the family that she went to. The family she visited were kinda new-age. they were into star charts and hypnotism, and stuff, I didnt understand it all, but they seemed like a nice family that didnt try to change Margurites beliefs, nor did they put her down because of what she believed. In the previews for the conclusion next week it showed her yelling and cussing (Now i use profanities occasionally as well) about how everything at the other families house was evil and of the devil (well you can see it in the clip) Now I know that what they show on tv isnt the whole story, but what i saw was enough for me...I was disgusted. I saw no love. This show makes my heart grieve. It saddens me to see Christians portrayed that way. I've seen on several journals here that This kind of person is one of the reasons why they dont believe in Christianity. I dont blame them. People like this make me ashamed to be a Christian (and it specifically says in the Bible that we should not be ashamed...I have a hard time making my heart match what I know to be true). They make it look like all Christians are insanely fanatical. I know in my heart that I am a child of God, and I pray that If I ever loose my love, compassion, understanding, patience, that I will be struck down then and there, for I will be useless.

This is the best way i know how to express what i feel right now. The words dont seem to be enough. I hope you understand what im trying to say...





1Co 13:1 If I speak with the tongues of people and of angels, but I do not have love, I have become a brass sounding or a cymbal tinkling.
1Co 13:2 And if I am having the gift of prophecy and know all secrets and all knowledge, and if I am having all faith so as to be removing mountains, and have not love, I am nothing.
1Co 13:3 And if I dole out all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I am burned, but am not having love, I am not at all benefited.
1Co 13:4 Love waits patiently; it acts kindly. Love does not envy ; love does not boast; it does not become haughty.
1Co 13:5 It does not behave disgracefully; it does not seek its own ; it is not provoked ; it does not keep a record of evil.
1Co 13:6 It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but it rejoices with the truth.
1Co 13:7 It puts up with all things, believes all, hopes [or, confidently expects] all, endures all.
1Co 13:8 Love never fails.


If I have no love...I am nothing.

october is breast cancer awareness month


http://www.thebreastcancersite.com

Also make sure if you buy any thing that supports the fight against breast cancer financially, make sure they really send their monies to the funds, and that they arent using carcinogenic ingredients in their cosmetics.

ugh... I started getting that tingly feeling in my nose Monday afternoon, and KNEW that i was getting sick. Now its 330 AM on Tuesday and i cant sleep cause my nose is running, and my throat is soooo sore. :sleepy: so what else is there to do at 330? Post in my journal of course. Anyway, im gonna go find some quizzes to do or something.

less than three hours of sleep :(

and he thought i might have PCOS ( http://www.4woman.gov/faq/pcos.htm ) I should get a call from a gynecologist soonly to figure things out, and get me on some hormone stuff or whatever they do for that.

i went back for my cat scan today to see how big the kidney stones were. They didnt find any stones in my right kidney, but instead found a one inch cyst on my ovary. there were a few stones in my left kidney


edit: I reread what i wrote and it said that i had a cyst on my kidney, the cyst is on my ovary. Im still loopy from all the meds.

Ive got kidney stones again. I went to the hospital around 1 today, and they gave me iv fluids, morphine, anti-nausea, and anti-inflammatory meds. Left around 3. About an hour and a half ago I had to go back, cause i threw up. We called the hosp first and talked to the er doc that took care of me, and he said to come back in to get a shot of pain and anti nausea meds. I really didnt want to go,but I only puke when im really really sick. Im so tired right now from the pain meds. I tried to sleep this afternoon, but i could only doze. It still was very restful. I got a note for school saying i cant go back until monday, so i hope everything is ok by then. Tomorrow I have to go back to the hosp to get a CAT scan to see where the stones are at and how big they are. i hope they are small and passable.

enough icky stuff, heres a quiz.

You Belong in 1969

1969 If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

did my first haircut today, on jason...it looks pretty good if i say so myself...but i didnt do it all on my own, my instructor helped me. I have for tomorrow, a spiral perm, haircut, and acrylic nails...all on one lady. It will prolly take me all day.

I went to the chiropractor again today (i went yesterday too) I feel so much better, ive got a little headache from when he cracked my neck, but i feel better. I didnt have any probs with my back hurting today, only my feet hurt :) the doc said also that I have great abdominal muscles. He said I do better sit-ups then some of his 90lb people. I was gonna say something smart like, 'I should have strong muscles I lift more weight everyday then they do in the gym' but i didnt.

you guys like my icons?? you can steal the holiday ones if you like :)

im sick again. i thought i had allergies from all the dust that got kicked up from re-arranging my bedroom, but it just got worse. its now 4am, ive hardly slept, and my head feels like its gonna explode.

im gonna miss school again today

ill never graduate at this rate.

im so tired... Last time i went to see the doctor he said I was anemic, well im trying my hardest to get my iron back up without going out and buying iron pills (blech!), but i dont know if its working or not. IM taking prenatal vitamins which have a ton of good stuff in them, but maybe not enough to make me feel better. I went to bed last night at 7:30, I woke up at 4am, cause i had heartburn, which was my fault because I didnt take my pills last night :(

Yesterday I went to one of the Chiropractors in town, to get a rate quote, and found out its only about $65 for the first visit, and $35 for every visit thereafter...So I made an appointment for the first of the month! Ive needed to go for about 2 years now, Ill be in a lot less pain when i get done. I may be able to stand more at school when i get cracked too. :)

Anyway...enough complaining.

School is not as tedious as before. I still have to do fingerwaves, but I have to do other things too. Im supposed to do at least one of each skill daily that we've learned so far. (Ive not been doing that tho.). We've learned how to do braids, fingerwaves, shampoo-sets, perms, and weaves. We havent learned how to use chemicals yet, so when we do perms and weaves, we dont put any solution on the perm, and we use gel to show where we would put the color on a weave. I've got perms down to an hour, which is really good considering Ive only done about 5 so far. When we take our exam we have an hour and a half to finish it, so Im set.


Jason still hasnt found a job yet, but we are getting unemployment. Our rent is almost caught up, we still owe $450 for this month. We get $190 a week, plus my financial aid which is about $600 a month, So we are getting just about the same income as we had when Jason was working. I get $1200 in November, so we can do some Christmas shopping and pay a few more bills.

I think we are going to Green Bluff this weekend to pick apples, but Im not sure. If we do I get to stop by Doctored Locks in Spokane (http://www.drlocks.net/salon.htm) and pick out the hair im gonna get. Im getting Latch-hook extensions near the end of November.

well i got really tired really fast today. I left school at noon to come home. Im gonna try to get as much sleep as I can tonight so I can do the whole day tomorrow. I cant miss anymore days. I need to have perfect attendance until december (when we get out of basic training), because theres a rule that if you miss so many hours you will be asked to leave and come back when the next class starts...I so dont wanna do that :(

Im teaching Jason how to play backgammon, its one of my favorite games. We played a few times, he won once, I won twice. then I kicked his butt in chess. We used to play games all the time, we need to stop watching tv, and using the internet, so we can have more 'quality' time :)

alright...off to finish my homework...we may or may not have a quiz this week, so i gotta read.

hokay, so the chamomile only made me feel sleepy, so i went to bed and felt sleepy till about quarter to five. finally got to sleep, then woke up again at 645...
I feel unusually ok for getting so little sleep. We shall see how i feel at the end of the day tho.

-gotta go make lunch and stuff.

I went to bed early all last week...now, the night before I have to go to school, i cant sleep. its 1:21 am, and i need to be up at 6 :(

now that ive complained, im gonna go drink some chamomile tea...if that doesnt work, on to valerian!


edit: chamomile worked...im off to bed.

Ive been sick since monday. I went to the clinic on tuesday, and the doc confirmed my suspicions of an ear infection. I really really hate them. I rarely get earaches, but i do get loopy, and off kilter. I havent slept at all tonight (its currently 430 am.). Everytime i start to doze off i stop breathing. Ive got so much crud in my sinuses and chest that it all builds up in my throat when i lay down. Ive got a note for school for the rest of the week, but Im worried that ill miss too much, and not be able to catch up. I can get theory down just fine by myself, its just the practical stuff I wont be able to do. Im planning to go to school on Saturday to work on my practicals, maybe some of the other students can help me.

quizzes...


Your eye color is dark blue. You rely on your logic
solely, and may have more mature interests than
many of your friends and family your age. You
can sometimes also be interverted and lonely
from a lack of understanding with people, and
can be rather frustrated with some types of
folke. Some may describe you as cold and
distant, and you are honest with how you feel
about things.


What Color Eyes Should You Have? ( With Anime Pictures ^-^ )
brought to you by Quizilla

( a couple more quizzes )

For the first time in ages, I slept all night without any medication!! Im so excited, and i feel so much better! Yesterday I kinda scared Jason, because he couldnt wake me up. The meds i have to help me sleep really knock me out. They make me sleep so hard its impossible to wake me, and thats not really safe. What if there was a fire or something? anyway, yesterday afternoon i was tired feeling, and I took a long nap. I was kinda worried that i wouldnt be able to sleep that night, but I eventually got to sleep around 2 am, and slept till almost 9am, which is really good for me. I hope tonight will be just as good.

Tomorrow I have another doctors appt. Maybe he can give me something that doesnt make me so jittery. the effexor makes me have so much nervous energy its ridiculous. Maybe he'll just take me off of it and leave me on the mood stabilizer. :)

enough serious stuff, heres some fun quiz like stuff

S	Shocking
I	Intelligent
L	Legendary
I	Intense
V	Valiant
R	Refreshing
E	Energetic
N	Naughty
G	Great
L	Lively
A	Astonishing
U	Unusual
R	Refined

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

( more quizzie goodness )

Yesterday I had my first appointment with my p-doc (the one i saw before was the hospital doc). The doc confirmed what everyone had been saying all along. Im bipolar II, which to me is a releif, II is less 'intense' than bipolar I. He changed my meds a little, kept me on the effexor, and took me off the trazadone. I hate the trazadone, it made me nervous and jittery, not relaxed, altho i think in the end it did somehow make me sleep. He started me on a mood stabilizer called lamactil. He was gonna give me lithium, but i refused it, there are so many bad side effects with that one.
I didnt sleep at all last night, i was so restless. The moment i dozed off, something woke me up again. Im so tired this am, and now i have flu-like symptoms.


I've decided to get back on the atkins diet. When J gets paid on the 5th is when ill start (we have hardley any groceries right now). I did so well on that diet, and i felt better when i was on it.
Im also going to start going back to school. I hope my financial aid comes thru fast enough so i can start the fall term. Im still going to stick with the social work/counselor major/minor.


*edit*
I have also decided to wait on the foster-care thing untill my moods are more stable --lord knows how long that will be. Maybe by then I will be ready to try for some of my own again?? anyway. We are also looking for a cheaper place to live. With me not working and stuff its really hard to keep up with all our bills.

i sprained my ankle today...so much for a fun weekend. the dr said to keep off it untill mon. :(