I forgot to post last night that I got a cpap machine for sleep apnea. I went to a sleep study last month and they said i have mild apnea, and thought a machine would help me. I tried sleeping with it on tuesday and ended up taking it off sometime in the middle of the night. Last night i tried to sleep with it but my nose was stuffy so i couldnt.


now for something more serious. I dont know how many of you watch reality tv, I do sometimes. I watched trading spouses on fox last night and was appalled at what i saw. you can go to http://www.fox.com/tradingspouses/ and see a clip of what went on last night. Specifically the video of Marguerite Perrin on the right. I have a hard time expressing my feelings without being judgmental, and If I come off that way im sorry. This woman calls herself a Christian. All I saw last night was her judging the family that she went to. The family she visited were kinda new-age. they were into star charts and hypnotism, and stuff, I didnt understand it all, but they seemed like a nice family that didnt try to change Margurites beliefs, nor did they put her down because of what she believed. In the previews for the conclusion next week it showed her yelling and cussing (Now i use profanities occasionally as well) about how everything at the other families house was evil and of the devil (well you can see it in the clip) Now I know that what they show on tv isnt the whole story, but what i saw was enough for me...I was disgusted. I saw no love. This show makes my heart grieve. It saddens me to see Christians portrayed that way. I've seen on several journals here that This kind of person is one of the reasons why they dont believe in Christianity. I dont blame them. People like this make me ashamed to be a Christian (and it specifically says in the Bible that we should not be ashamed...I have a hard time making my heart match what I know to be true). They make it look like all Christians are insanely fanatical. I know in my heart that I am a child of God, and I pray that If I ever loose my love, compassion, understanding, patience, that I will be struck down then and there, for I will be useless.

This is the best way i know how to express what i feel right now. The words dont seem to be enough. I hope you understand what im trying to say...





1Co 13:1 If I speak with the tongues of people and of angels, but I do not have love, I have become a brass sounding or a cymbal tinkling.
1Co 13:2 And if I am having the gift of prophecy and know all secrets and all knowledge, and if I am having all faith so as to be removing mountains, and have not love, I am nothing.
1Co 13:3 And if I dole out all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I am burned, but am not having love, I am not at all benefited.
1Co 13:4 Love waits patiently; it acts kindly. Love does not envy ; love does not boast; it does not become haughty.
1Co 13:5 It does not behave disgracefully; it does not seek its own ; it is not provoked ; it does not keep a record of evil.
1Co 13:6 It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but it rejoices with the truth.
1Co 13:7 It puts up with all things, believes all, hopes [or, confidently expects] all, endures all.
1Co 13:8 Love never fails.


If I have no love...I am nothing.

First off go to this link. http://www.livejournal.com/community/dark_christian/88774.html#cutid1 bushianity vs Christianity.
Love how the writer expressed the difference...One of the things i hate is being associated with the judgmental christians. Im not that way, nor is my husband...but you can find out more of our beliefs at our website.

next...I keep waking up around three am every day. Im so glad im not going to school right now, or dont have a job either. I get up, stay up for an hour or so, and then go back to bed and sleep in till ten or eleven. it really sucks.


go look at this post as well http://www.livejournal.com/community/supersizedbbws/152881.html the writer talks about how she doesnt feel beautiful because of her size, and how her significant other is breaking down those feelings, and making her feel better about herself. Jason especially should read this one.


lastly...jason lost his job, again. you can read more about it at his journal. http://www.livejournal.com/users/jasonhackwith/27401.html?mode=reply



oh ya, this is funny http://www.grayace.com/dex/bunny.html

"Before all else God is one. Moses stressed that point, and he was right. But it is important to understand that the unity in God's being is not like the unity in a human person. God is not human. God is unique and cannot be compared. However, God is simple, which is a part of his unity, but his simplicity is beautiful in that it can be seen in many facets and is capable of limitless expression. Every beautiful creation expresses som facet of God's beauty. Every prophet expresses something of God's presence. Jesus possessed in himself a unique reflection of God's infinite love for his people. Every delicate and powerful force in nature reveals a facet of God's majesty. The vast expanse of space beyond the stars provides a hint of the unlimited comprehension of God's intelligence. And yet there is more to God than that.
God's love is like the warmth of the sun, which touches every object in creation at the same moment, giving it warmth and light, and in touching knows intimately each one in the same instant. But God's love is also foolish, because he understands the difficulty we have in trying to grasp him, so he frequently manifests himself in was we can understand, even at the risk of confusing us even more as to his identity. I think that you can best find God if you look within yourself. The most powerful revelation of God's presence and his love lies within you. If you take the time and talk to God, you will find him, and in finding him you will find the greatest joy of your life. He will reveal himself to you, and in possessing him you will understand all else."
~ from the book Joshua by Joseph Girzone.

I dont normally speak about politics...but im going to make an exception here.

< rant >

im not happy at all that bush has been re-elected. Im also not happy about the pressures that were put on me as a Christian to vote for him because all the tv-preachers are, and because he is pro-life which makes him a 'better' Christian than Kerry. I hate the fact that people judge which candidate is the better Christian by the issues...No person should make that judgment, its not their job. Another thing that IM not happy about is the flak that ive been getting because I voted for Kerry. Voting for Kerry has nothing to do with my salvation. I am not going to hell because I voted mostly democratic. I wish people (Christians) would stop judging and start loving again.

< /rant >

Im soooo glad its Friday. This week seemed to drag on and on. It was a good week tho. We learned how to do perms, and weaves. My hands hurt from doing so many perms, but they'll get stronger soon. I thought I would get a poor grade for this week, because I missed all the stuf last week when I was sick, but I found out today that I got 100% for all my work, I did extra credit, and that helped a lot. I also got a 100%, and a 98% on my two tests today. I found out how much financial aid Im getting as well. Its a pretty good amount, and Ill be getting twice as much in November for Christmas. MY back is feeling somewhat better too, Im getting stronger in my shoulders and sides from having my arms in the air all day.

Yesterday we had our second 40 days of purpose meeting. They are going so well, and jasonhackwith and I are learning so much. Im also reading a book called Gods smuggler by Brother Andrew. Its a fantastic book that I reccomend to everyone. Its so encouraging, especially in our situation.

God is providing for us in so many ways. We dont have any extras at the moment, but all our needs are taken care of, and we are comfortable. We are not nearly as stressed as we were when jasonhackwith was working.

Our church is doing the 40 days of purpose study. We (jason and I) are having a small group in our home starting tonight. we will meet at 7pm if anyone who reads this (and lives in the area) is interested feel free to respond and Ill send ya my address and phone number so you can join us. Itll be loads of fun, and a great learning experience.

you can also find more info at these links

http://www.rivercity-church.org/
http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/
http://www.lifelinks.org/